Posting Awal Tahun....
Fyuhhh....akhirnya menapak juga ke tahun yang baru. Ngga terasa setahun udah dilewati dengan berbagai macam hal yang NOTHING banget, alias ngga berkesan apa-apa. Well, berhubung masih agak di awal tahun, jadi rasanya belum terlambat untuk ngucapin :
GOODBYE 2005
AND
WELCOME 2006...HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 !!! Masih agak bingung mau posting apa. Kalo tahun lalu, waktu baru masuk awal tahun 2005, ai udah posting tentang flasback kejadian yang ada di tiap2 bulan dalam 1 tahun. Tapi kali ini kayaknya ngga dulu deh! Maybe in the next posting, I will tell all about what were happen during 2005. And this time, I will tell a little story between me and mon bebe. For now, I'm not in the capital city of Indonesia again. Since December 26th 2005 T've stayed in a brand new city. Why? First, I keep my promise to my friend on there. But after that I thought, I should refresh my mind. Yeah, so many things happened in Jakarta and I could say all those things made me suck. In here -a brand new city- I feel better. It just like I'm reborn here, get a new life. But I still can't forget mon bebe. Yap! I still don't know what happened between me and mon bebe. Am I going to break with him or not? I don't know. I can't take any decisions yet. I'm afraid if its wrong. Till now, I still can't contact him. Maybe he already ignored me. Fyuuu...how can it be? Well, honestly I don't know what's the problem between us. He didn't response me just like usual. And it made me feel strange, dissapointed, angry, sad, etc. Even some people said that I'm happy to be here, but inside I feel hurt. I cry almost every 2-3 days - gee...ai ngitungin banget ya intensitas nangisnya-. Many friends here don't know about that, but my brother - yap! I could say that Ekin Cheng kapiran is my brother here- knows that. He always be my shoulder to cry on - kalo Ndil kan a chest to cry on ;p-, always support me, always listen all my stories, always suggest me. Hooo...yeah, he is a good brother. Thanks bro! Back to mon bebe, hmmmmmm.....ai kali ini ngga tau harus gimana. Harus diakhiri atau gimana. Kalopun mau nyelesaiin masalah, masalahnya apa, ai ngga tau. Mon bebe juga ngga jawab apa-apa, at least kasih clue kek ini semua tentang apa. Tapi ini ngga! Kalo chatting, private message ai ngga dijawab -atau mungkin udah /ignore P-A or /ignore Chris kali yaaaaaaaaa.....-, SMS ai juga ngga dibales -apa dia jangan2 belom bayar tagihan HALO-nya?-, ai telp juga ngga diangkat -mungkin tiap ai telp dia pas lagi di kamar mandi?-, dan banyak lagi yang sebenernya sangat ingin ai lakuin untuk bisa contact dia. Tapi gagal! Positive thinking itu selalu ada dalam pikiran ai. Salah ngga sich? And..........what should I do now? Some people said that I should just let him alone first. It means that I must not trying to contact him for a while. But till when? Forever? Oh God...please help me. I couldn't stand this for long, not again. In the other side, I give up with him. Maybe...ya maybe, this is the best decision to end my relation with him. But deep in my heart, I don't want let him go. Not for a moment. So, I'm waiting here now. Just waiting...without any hope. I wish this is better than walk away from him... I love him... ps: I really don't like this circumstances...really don't like.. |
Uneg2Ku...My Thoughts...Isi KepalaKu...
